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Tuesday, May 12, 2009

In Choosing Your Beloved, Did You Use Your Head Or Your Heart?



In choosing your beloved did you use your head or your heart? Please explain your answer.


Tags: Love, Beloved, Head, Heart, Choice, Lifetime Partner, For Better Or For Worse, For Richer Or Poorer, 'Til Death Do Us Part, Happiness, Regret, Fulfillment, Complete, Meaningful, Wrong Choice

Posted by: Mel Avila Alarilla
Philippines
Viewpoint/Opinion

16 comments:

bingkee said...

I used both. You cannot just use one or the other. You have to follow your heart's desires but you also need to think what both of you can give to the relationship. If you love a married man and he loves you back, you cannot just get him out of his wife's life because you both love each other. You need to think of the consequences , the pain you will give to the wife, the children and the results of being selfish because you just want to fulfill your heart's desire. Or if you love a man so much but he's abusive, you cannot just wish and make magic on him hoping that he will change. Following only your heart dictates can lead to tragedy. So we always need to use both---heart and mind.

Mel Avila Alarilla said...

Hi Bingkee,
An answer full of wisdom. Truly we have to use both so that we can have a better chance of having a lasting relationship. Thanks for your visit and comments. God bless you always.

gege said...

More heart than mind. One can overthink in matters like love and marriage. One can try to apply formulas for deciding on a spouse and on the best time to marry. One can read books and consult experts. But in the end what really makes it work is love -- love for each other that breeds mutual respect, love willing to listen and to sacrifice, and a love for the marriage itself.

Mel Avila Alarilla said...

Hi Gege,
Thanks for your most enlightening comments. You must be in love to have made such a soul inspiring comment like that. Thanks for your visit and very inspiring comments. God bless you always.

Joops said...

I used my head first and then my heart. Why my head first because I want to get to know this person both inside and outm, and when I was sure that she really is the one that's when my heart just burst into love to my wife of almost six years now.

chubskulit said...

More on heart ako Kuya Mel but of course I did not let my feelings interfere my thinking of "What will and what if's situation" I weight the pros and cons and I am glad that I followed to what my heart had told me before, now I am happily married to a man whom I have never imagined being married with... Have a blessed Sunday Kuya!

Mel Avila Alarilla said...

Hi John,
Very practical answer. Thanks for your visit and comments. God bless you always.

Mel Avila Alarilla said...

Hi Rose,
Women can't help it. They will lean more on their heart than on their head. But in the ultimate analysis, it is better to use both in finding a person to share your life with. Thanks for your visit and comments. God bless you always.

Shawie said...

I used both too:)) That's the difference of being intellectual and intelligent, the latter knows how to balance his heart and his brain^-^
and when you love someone so deeply, you see yourself and God in that person.. perfecting Love in its selfish desire:))

Mel Avila Alarilla said...

Hi Shawie,
Yes that's a very profound answer. Love conquers all but we must also use our head to see things clearly. Thanks for your visit and comments. God bless you always.

Bluebirdy said...

I think I'm an alien. I decided that I did not do a good job when I chose my first husband, so I asked the Lord to choose my second husband, and to let me feel the Holy Spirit very strongly when I had found him, so I think my spirit chose my husband, then my heart fell in love as I got to know him more. My brain still isn't choosing him. All logic tells me that no sane person would put up with all this stress and strain of waiting and worrying, when I already have a stress-induced disease, but I am always comforted about it when I pray.

Mel Avila Alarilla said...

Hi Shiela,
Probably that would be a third choice, letting the Lord decide who we will end up with. That would possibly be the best option. Thanks for your visit and valuable comments. God bless you always.

caca said...

i can't say na isa lang yung ginamit ko. parehong utak at pusa ang ginagamit ko when choosing love. :)

Mel Avila Alarilla said...

Hi Caca,
That's very practical of you. It's bad to just rely on your heart alone. Thanks for your visit and viewpoint. God bless you always.

Mom said...

I definitely used my head far more than my heart in choosing my husband. I learned long ago that opinions of the heart can be quite deceptive.

Mel Alarilla said...

Hi Mom,
You have been the recipient of a very painful lesson in life that is why you got wiser and now use wisdom in deciding the important things in life. Thanks for your visit and comments. God bless you always.